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UNSPOKEN GRAPHIC DESIGN RULES
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- Your fonts will default to the worst possible font available on the machine you are showing your work on.
- The less time you have the more useless your computer will become
- If you have two versions of a photo, the wrong one will make its way to the printer.
- Promises made by the sales staff have no basis in reality.
- The sales staff will promise anything.
- If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.
- Speed.Quality. Affordability. Pick two.
- If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault.
- Spell checkers don't.
- Grammar checkers don't, either.
- Proof raeders are useless.
- Global search-and-replaces aren't.
- The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.
- Optical Character Recognition(OCR)is good comedy.
- If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosenor any combination of worst components of each.
- If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. If provided, then one of the first two will be chosen.
- If you ask for more copy it will be sent as a Jpeg. If you ask for images they will send powerpoint presentations.
- Clients don't have their company logo in a usable print ready format so don't bother asking.
- Blue line proofs reveal previously invisible errors.
- The best designs never survive contact with the client.
- You will misspell the name of the client's spouse.
- Your best idea is already copyrighted.
- The best way to find errors in your code is to show a client "a new feature"
- There is no stock photo ever made that matches the image you have in your head
- Creative inspiration flows in inverse proportion to the distance from the studio.
- Time allowed to complete work is inversely proportional to time taken by client to work out what to complain about
- Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but anyone with a computer is a graphic designer
- No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem
- The number of colours in a client's design will equal the number of colours in the original bid specs, plus two
- The client's disk won't run on your equipment & when it does will contain unusable copyrighted images
- If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive
- Your client will often not like your design but not quite know why.
- Computer crashes always happen exactly 30 seconds before saving.
- A client who knows exactly what he wants is worse than one that has no idea.
- Clients who do not provide content upfront will complain about the use of Latin Copy
- Everything has to be done immediately, deadlines are incredibly important unless client has to provide materials or approve your work
- The customer is always right . & an idiot.
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